Stay Home and K2tog!

Hello! We’re still in a Pandemic here!
Stay home and Knit Two Together (K2tog)!

Knit two together means to combine two stitches into one stitch. In a knitting pattern this is done to decrease stitches for shaping in a garment.   Like when you make a dart in sewing. It is also used in lace patterns: yarn over, knit two together, yarn over…you decrease in one place so that you can increase in another, creating beautiful open designs.

I love the idea of decreasing in one place so you can increase somewhere else.  That speaks to me as a white, cis-gendered, straight human in this moment, learning to be a better ally and leaning in to what it might mean to be a true accomplice to all my human siblings.

How can I “decrease” so that someone else can “increase”? 

Maybe I can center my need, my interest LESS, and lift up black and brown and lgbtqi+ voices MORE. Maybe I can learn to take up less space so that someone else can expand theirs. Maybe I don’t need to buy x, y, or Z  and can instead share more resources with grassroots groups and leaders on the ground doing the work. There are all kinds of ways I can explore decreasing so others can increase. It doesn’t make me less important — it just helps me shape the world to look more like a place I want to live.

Being knitted together also makes me think of community& connection. Knit 2 stitches together and they become one. Knitted together, as a metaphor, doesn’t mean I am lost in you or you in me. This image seems most applicable to thinking about marriage relationships. Which is where it can be tricky.  Because heternormative ideas of marriage have been steeped in patriarchy.  And the marriage of patriarchy has not been one of equals coming together, but of one becoming subservient to another. 

This is why, to me, the fight for marriage equality was all of our fight. Because it made us as a culture rethink the meaning of marriage. For many of us it had long ago moved away from being about property and progeny.  But that obviously wasn’t true for those who fought tooth and nail in the courts to keep marriage equality from happening.

Supposedly the threat they saw was a redefining of marriage as NOT being about progeny. Justice Ginsburg wanted to know if two 70 year olds decided to get married who obviously couldn’t procreate, would their marriage then not be true?  This really made the defenders of traditional marriage stumble and further reveal the flaws in their arguments.

Knit my need and your need together and both our needs should be met,
not yours over mine or mine over yours. Knitted together, we see our mutual interest.  That’s what marriage should be about. That’s what equitable relationships in community should be about.

When we knit ourselves together we can shape an outcome that is equitable for all. When we knit ourselves together we can’t help but craft a more beautiful pattern.

Two ends of knitting needles, black/silhouetted and crossing each other with words forming stitches on them and being stitched together. Words include: "Knitted together we find our mutual interest" and "not mine over yours"
Illustration by Rik Lain Schell.

Possible Questions/Further Thoughts to Explore:

In some faith communities there are times (like Lent) when people decide to let go of things or take on things as part of a sort of spiritual journey or pilgrimage. One could also frame this as increasing vs. decreasing. In relation to becoming more actively anti-racist, what very practical things/ways of being can you “decrease” in order for your black and brown siblings to “increase”? Depending on your identity/ies you could also apply this in terms of class and/or gender.

In thinking about knitting two together in relation to seeking out mutual interest, what comes up for you? In what ways do you find this idea inspiring? In what ways challenging? What are the barriers that we have to seeking out and embracing mutual interest?

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